Matt Kemp: Goodness, Gracious

Los Angeles Dogers outfielder Matt Kemp warms up.

Matt Kemp

As I blogged yesterday, I attended the San Francisco Giants game against the Los Angeles Dodgers on Sunday.  A grudge match, as usual.

One thing I failed to mention in my post:  After the game — which the Dodgers lost — a gracious Matt Kemp jogged over to my section and gave half his uniform to a young, disabled Dodger fan seated almost directly in front of me.  No hoopla or posing.  No cameras around, except for the personal iPhone of someone seated nearby that was used to shoot this video.  (Unfortunately, I had already stored my camera away by that point, and the encounter happened too fast for me to pull it back out.)

No exaggeration, you could have heard a pin drop in section 125.  Kemp, who gets booed with every at-bat in AT&T Park, left a number of us pretty choked up.  The young fan was at the game with an older gentleman — probably his Dad – who was obviously thrilled and touched beyond words.

I am not much for heckling opponents, so I was never among the Matt Kemp booers to begin with.  But going forward, I may manage some polite clapping, instead of stoney silence, when he’s at the plate. 

I’m not sure I could manage flat-out cheering, though.  He does, after all, still wear Dodger blue.

Giants vs. Dodgers: A Clean Sweep

San Francisco Giants pitcher Matt Cain on the mound, May 5, 2013.

Matt Cain

The San Francisco Giants beat the Los Angeles Dodgers three times last weekend. Swept the floor with them, you might say.

I caught Sunday afternoon’s game — the last of the series and a 4-3 victory for my guys.  My seat was near third base — a more favorable location this season, since the team has found its offense.  In years past, when only one or two Giants players even made it to third base, let alone scored, it could feel like the loneliest, saddest place on earth.

Matt Cain — who was winless in April — looked strong.  Hunter Pence was en fuego. (Sunday was Cinco de Mayo, after all.)  Andres Torres ran very fast.  And Pablo looked… like a fat panda.  His online bio puts his weight at 240 pounds, but these photos don’t lie.  The guy is a house.

Right now Sandoval is batting .323, but you have to wonder how long he can maintain that when he huffs and puffs around the bases… and can no longer see his toes while doing it.

On a lighter note, being back at the ballpark on a warm day — camera in hand — brought me all the usual joy.

And as my tagline says… I have the pictures to prove it.

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Don’t Tread On Me

Don't Tread On Me cartoonJodie never sleeps ’cause there are always needles in the hay
She says that a girl needs a gun these days
Hey on account of all the rattlesnakes — Lloyd Cole, Neil Robert

That’s from one of my favorite songs from my college days: “Rattlesnakes” by Lloyd Cole and the Commotions. It’s been stuck in my head for two days, since I encountered my first-ever rattler on a hike in Marin County, California.

It was quite a brush with danger for so early on a Saturday. I was on the back nine of my hike, so to speak, stumbling down the hill with my headphones on and not paying much attention to anything. The site of the snake sunning itself smack in the middle of the trail stopped me dead in my tracks. I saw the rattle, and knew my hike was going to take a little longer than expected.

Now, if you ask someone in the NRA’s leadership — Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre, for example — he will claim I probably wished I’d had a gun right then. (That’s the same thing the NRA is saying about Aurora, Newtown and even Boston.)

Nothing could be further from the truth. I wished I had brought sunscreen, for sure. And my cell phone to capture the moment. I probably also could have used a very, very long stick and a sturdy burlap sack, but I never once wished I had a gun.

I didn’t need to blast the snake into teeny tiny bits with a semi-automatic firearm to make my point.  I made do with rocks scattered along the trail, which I threw at it David-vs.-Goliath style. Not enough to make it feel threatened, but just enough to be a nuisance that wasn’t worth sinking its fangs into. Eventually it slithered away.

No harm done.  I got an entertaining story — ripe for embellishment over time — that I can tell at parties.  I also got the benefit of a much-needed cardio boost from fear, and from sprinting past that snake in a rather embarrassing fashion.

I’m not kidding, once it was out of sight I flew through the rest of that hike.

And so it is that I now have a classic, blast-from-my-past song stuck in my head that keeps making me smile.  Maybe it’s stuck in your head now too, thanks to the power of suggestion.  If so… enjoy!

When It Comes To Burning Bridges, It’s Go Big Or Go Home

LinkedIn Cartoon iconLast week, the professional social network LinkedIn invited its “thought leaders” and other content contributors to write about the best  – most counter-intuitive – mistakes they had ever made.  It was pretty tame stuff, nothing controversial: “My Best Mistake: Nearly Getting Fired”, or “My Best Mistake: Forgetting the Five-Year Career Plan”.

On Thursday, however, a LinkedIn user made his own big mistake – and something tells me it wasn’t his best. If it was?  Have mercy.

On that day a large, established eCommerce/payments company posted a story, as firms and individuals on LinkedIn often do, titled “How Busy People Find Time to Think Deeply”.   Again, innocuous stuff.  Most of us are busy, and who among us wouldn’t appreciate more time to think deeply, right?

It was in response to this article that a former employee inexplicably chose to air grievances with the firm.  I’ve omitted a few specifics to protect the clueless:

“If people are thinking deeply while using (company’s product), they are probably brainstorming about how they will get their money back after (company and its parent) steal it. As a highly efficient former employee of your company, it is disappointing to see your blatant disregard for your customers. So yes, I hate (you, company) but I am not a disgruntled former employee. I am a person who moved on voluntarily after 6 years with you all. Let me express as diplomatically as I can that you are crooks. Have a wonderful day.”

Completely floored, I sent the link to friends, encouraging them to click on it only if they weren’t squeamish about professional suicide. None of us could conceive of why someone would be so hell-bent on offending both his previous employer AND anyone else who might possibly think of hiring him.  What was he trying to accomplish?

Would you make an offer to someone who holds such consuming grudges, and voices them so recklessly?  Someone who might leave your employ, then paint you as dishonest on social media?

What drives folks to self-destruct on social media this way?  I mean, we’ve all heard stories of knuckleheads who call in sick, then tweet photos of themselves doing keg stands on the beach.  Or who unload on their toady bosses on Facebook, and are summarily fired.  Still, I think this one takes the cake.

If not him, then maybe the unimaginative guy who piled on with, effectively, “Yeah, what he said”.  In the words of Forrest Gump…Stupid is as stupid does.

Aside from the obvious sarcasm in his “have a wonderful day” sign off, you’ve got to love that this guy doesn’t consider himself a disgruntled former employee.  Really?  If his bridge-burning behavior doesn’t scream “disgruntled”, I don’t know what does.  Plus, I think he protests that he left the company voluntarily just a smidge too emphatically.  I’m just not buying it.

Here’s hoping the poor fellow has some friends who can appeal to his better judgment – assuming he possesses any – and convince him to remove the comment.  It had to feel GREAT to blast his old bosses this way, but by now he has probably received quite a few concerned emails asking if he has completely lost his mind.

My Dad once told me a story of a colleague who, many years ago, got drunk at the office Christmas party and told off his bosses.  Within a week, he was transferred to someplace like North Dakota.  In the dead of winter.

Going out in a blaze of glory can sound cool, but pack your suitcase wisely… exile can be a cold place.

Have any good bridge-burning stories?  Share ‘em if you’ve got ‘em.

LinkedIn comment: If people are thinking deeply while using (company’s product), they are probably brainstorming about how they will get their money back after (company and its parent) steal it. As a highly efficient former employee of your company, it is disappointing to see your blatant disregard for your customers. So yes, I hate (you, company) but I am not a disgruntled former employee. I am a person who moved on voluntarily after 6 years with you all. Let me express as diplomatically as I can that you are crooks. Have a wonderful day.

So the Pot Called the Kettle… Opportunistic and Insincere

Lance Armstrong

(Photo: Laurent Rebours, AP)

The United States Justice Department has announced that it will join a federal whistle-blower lawsuit against Lance Armstrong brought by Floyd Landis, his former teammate on the US Postal Service cycling team.

Former team director Johan Bruyneel and Tailwind Sports were also named as defendants in the suit.

The complaint states:

“Riders on the USPS-sponsored team, including Armstrong, knowingly caused material violations of the sponsorship agreements by regularly and systematically employing banned substances and methods to enhance their performance… Defendants were unjustly enriched to the extent of the payments and other benefits they received from the USPS, either directly or indirectly.”

This wasn’t exactly a surprise, since today (April 23) was the deadline for joining the suit.  And as anyone who likes to receive mail on Saturdays knows, the USPS is financially strapped and could really use a big injection right now.

Of cash, that is.  A big injection of cash.

Lance Armstrong’s lawyer’s response to the government’s action was classic.  He called the lawsuit “opportunistic and insincere”.

For a moment, I thought he might have been describing his client.

BOOM!

Too much?

It’s ON, America

The Green Building at MIT

The Green Building at Boston’s MIT. (Photo: Matthew J. Lee / Globe Staff)

Thirty-six hours ago, Americans were reminded of a few things.  Obviously, and most painfully, we were reminded that no amount of security and vigilance can ensure our safety in the age of terror.

You may subscribe to the notion that nothing stops a bad guy with a gun, except a good guy with a gun.  (I do not agree, although that’s a subject for another blog post.)  But how do we stop a bad guy with a bomb?  Or two?  Sometimes we can, but on Monday in Boston we could not.

Today I’ve heard a few frustrated folks lament that an evil few can destroy the happiness and freedom of the many.  I don’t think that’s the lesson here.  Rather, the take-away message should be that there is more good in the world than bad.  As Patton Oswalt (!) so elegantly put it in a Facebook post that has now gone viral:

“We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago…

When you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, ‘The good outnumber you, and we always will.’”

Much of that good has already been well chronicled this week, like the Boston Marathon runners, bystanders and volunteers who rushed toward Monday’s carnage as soon as it happened, rather than away from it.  Acts of courage and selflessness were everywhere, witnessed by helpless citizens of the world who could only tune in via social media and pray.

Twitter 1
By day’s end, Boston-area blood banks were fully stocked and thousands of residents had offered space in their homes to weary, terrified runners with nowhere else to go.

The New York Times suspended its pay meter (the tracking mechanism that prevents non-subscribers from reading more than a few online articles per month for free) to allow everyone access to news.

There were other acts of goodness, such as heretofore unseen restraint among most news outlets and social media users.  We were all urged to corroborate what we heard, before presenting it as fact.  Shocking tweets were challenged with, “What’s your source for that?”.  Many outlandish rumors sputtered and died under the weight of scrutiny.

The New York Post was the most glaring exception, exaggerating the number of casualties and claiming that a suspect was in custody within two hours.  The Twitter community rallied to bring the hammer DOWN on those hacks.

Twitter 2
Even President Obama was careful when addressing the stunned nation.  Some were frustrated that he avoided using the term “terrorism”.  I suppose it’s reassuring to label a heinous act, as a means of trying to understand it, but I was glad that the President chose not to influence the narrative by using loaded words when he lacked facts.

Once we catch whoever did this, feel free to label it however you like.

On a similar note, most Americans took a holiday from bipartisan bickering on Monday.  Let’s hope it’s an extended one.

Tweet 3
As always, sports proved a great distraction and rejuvenator for me.  Sports writers were especially respectful.  Despite the tragedy they had a job to do, but most showed sensitivity.  Hank Schulman, for example, tweeted this before sharing a link to his most recent blog post:

Tweet 5
Teams everywhere celebrated life and courage and community, and they did it with class.  The “United We Stand” banners at Yankee Stadium featuring the Red Sox logo?  Those choked me up almost as much as the Yanks playing Fenway favorite “Sweet Caroline” tonight, as fans laughed and sang along.  The resilient laughter – that’s what got to me.

In a way, sport is a great metaphor for the reaction to yesterday’s insanity.  America is complicated and messy.  Sometimes we behave badly, and fight ferociously amongst ourselves like a bunch of toddlers trapped in a room with only one toy.

At the end of the day, though, we’re a team.  If you attack one of us, you’re going to face the wrath of all of us.

Pity the evil person or persons who messed with my team.  We’re bringing our A game.  We will win, because the good guys always do.

Supplies and Demands

Kate Hudson

Kate Hudson

I ran an errand at lunch today, picking up ink cartridges for my home printer. It sounds simple, I know, but it was actually a fairly complex task requiring in-depth conversation with a young man behind the counter at Staples.

As we talked, I became aware of an unpleasant odor — like from those guys at the gym who repeatedly put their workout gear back into their lockers to re-wear until it ferments, and invariably gravitate to the treadmill next to mine. You know those guys. “I launder my gym clothes every 10 days, whether they need it or not!”

The owner of the odor was standing at the register to my left. She looked to be at least 50 years old, and was disheveled and carrying a stack of tattered folders and a paperback novel that would have looked at home in the discount bin of a used book store.

Without making eye contact with her clerk, she explained that she was Kate Hudson’s personal assistant. Ms. Hudson was back at the Sheraton Hotel in need of a large stack of office supplies. The implication was… she’d sent her assistant to pick them up, but had sent no money to pay for them.

My eyes were watering, and the lack of oxygen was impeding my concentration — but I needed to stick around to see where this was going. I tried to breathe through my mouth.

The clerk’s eyes were as big as silver dollars. He knew something wasn’t passing the smell test. (No pun intended.) “Does she have a Staples Rewards card?”

The customer was shocked — SHOCKED — at such impertinence. “Ms. Hudson is a billionaire Hollywood actress, she doesn’t need a DISCOUNT,” she sniffed. She just needed credit.

The “assistant” urged the clerk to call the Sheraton to confirm the story. This lady had all the chutzpah — but apparently not the cell phone — of a flashy Hollywood assistant.

The poor clerk, who couldn’t have been a day over 21, was paralyzed. Was he really supposed to call the Sheraton? By this time, there was a sizable queue forming of real customers waiting to pay.

A store manager eventually arrived. He informed the woman that she’d need to have the Sheraton telephone Staples to request credit. “We don’t do the calling,” he said.

Impasse. The customer glared at both men for a long while. What was she going to say?

“You think that men are superior to women, don’t you?”

SNAP! Every man behind the counter wore the expression I remember from a Season 3 Seinfeld episode, when Elaine challenges a fellow partygoer about wearing real fur. Danger! Danger!

On that note, I left the store. On my way out, I passed what I suspected was the woman’s shopping cart filled with all her earthly possessions, which of course made me feel a little sad and guilty for chuckling during the exchange.

Glue stickI don’t know how it all played out. I didn’t hear police sirens, so hopefully everything ended peacefully. I doubt that any office supplies changed hands.

However if you happen to encounter Kate Hudson, and she looks like she is in need of, say, post-it notes or a glue stick… maybe you could just give her the benefit of the doubt and share yours. She’s probably been pretty busy, recruiting a new personal assistant.

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