Author: In Write Field

Crazy Like A Hawk

On By In Write FieldIn BaseballLeave a comment

Hawk HarrelsonI have complained about Chicago White Sox broadcast announcer Hawk Harrelson since the day I signed up for the MLB package on cable. So today I felt vindicated.

Thanks to this video of Harrelson losing his (bleep) over the ejection of pitcher Jose Quintana, I now have evidence to boost my hypothesis that the Chicago White Sox have the most annoying, unprofessional announcers of all time, who can’t hold a candle to Underwood and Manning (Cleveland Indians) Kruk & Kuip (San Francisco Giants) or Dave Flemming and Jon Miller (ditto).

Until today I didn’t even know Harrelson’s name; I have disliked him so intensely, I refused to learn it.

“There’s this White Sox guy”, I’d complain to friends, “and he’s a complete jerk. I have never heard anything like it!”  I’d rattle off his many offenses, like yelling, “stay fair” when a Sox hit is going foul, and referring to Sox players as “our guys” or “the good guys”.  Oh, and let’s not forget Harrelson’s folksy catch phrase — “He gone!” – when one of the bad guys on the opposing team strikes out.  That one makes me positively nuts, both because it is grammatically incorrect (flashbacks to Sarah Palin) and because Harrelson seems to think he’s so clever when he says it.

As it turns out, though, I am not the only person who finds Hawk Harrelson offensive.  I am shocked — SHOCKED – to learn this!

Repeat after me: No man is an island.  You are never alone.

More than one-third of Harrelson’s Wikipedia page is devoted to his “catchphrases” and common criticisms of them.  There’s also a web site devoted exclusively to his ouster, called Heave the Hawk.

During today’s on-air tirade, Hawk argues that umpire Mark Wegner does not understand the game of baseball.  An interesting observation from the former White Sox GM who, among other bonehead moves, traded rookie Bobby Bonilla – an eventual six-time All-Star – to the Pittsburg Pirates.

Living in Chicago someday is on my bucket list.  When I make that move I assure you that, thanks to Hawk Harrelson, I will be a Cubbies fan. Until then I will just have to fantasize about him getting sacked, so that I can say it.  You know where I’m going with this…. “HE GONE!”

Hawk Harrelson:  Love him or hate him?  Discuss.

Happy 75th Birthday, Golden Gate Bridge

On By In Write FieldIn Random Stuff1 Comment

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Happy 75th Birthday to San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge.  I am blessed that I can see you from my rooftop, jog along the bay with you as my destination, and drive or walk across you anytime I like just to take in your views!

How Mad Men Got Its Groove Back

On By In Write FieldIn Random Stuff2 Comments

Until tonight, I had begun to despair about Mad Men.  Don Draper was now a dutiful – if still selfish – husband and father, having settled into domestic bliss with Megan.  No more skirt chasing or cut throat antics at the office. His ex-wife got fat, and boring.  Daughter Sally remained spooky.  Rodger was still a funny drunk, and Pete was still a cringe-worthy worm.

With only a few episodes left, where was all this going?  Never fear, cracks are beginning to appear in Don’s milquetoast existence.

Desertion (or perceived desertion) – mostly by the women in Don’s life — was the central theme tonight.  A deserted, disappointed Don Draper is a dark Don Draper, and we all love Dark Don Draper… preferably with a tumbler of scotch in his hand and a fedora pulled down over one eye.

To start, Megan announces she got a call back, and casually informs Don that if she gets the part she’ll be in Boston for 3 months for rehearsals.  Don flips out.  She doesn’t get the part, but I suspect tonight is not the last time Megan’s Broadway aspirations will threaten domestic tranquility at Chez Draper.

Desertion number two: Peggy Olson is leaving Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Pryce.  Her contributions were dismissed once too often and she has accepted an offer from a rival firm.

Don’s expression when Peggy announces her resignation is full of heartache and confusion, despite the fact that he’d thrown a wad of cash in her face the day before, because she dared complain about Ginsburg getting credit for her work.

The writing for this scene is superb.  At first Don patronizes and bullies Peggy.  “Let’s pretend I’m not responsible for every single good thing that has ever happened to you,” he says, demanding a salary figure that would make her stay.  But this time Peggy is in control, and she politely declines.  She extends her hand, and instead of shaking it… he kisses it as Peggy cries softly.  There’s nothing romantic about that kiss.  Don is scared, lonely and devastated.

Even more poignant are tonight’s scenes with Joan.  Last week, these two old friends slipped out of the office early to test drive a Jaguar, have a few drinks, and cry on each other’s shoulders – all while doing a little harmless flirting.  More great writing.

Tonight things get darker, as a slimy Jaguar executive makes his approval of hiring of Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Pryce contingent upon a date with Joan – and by “date”, he doesn’t mean dinner and dancing.  Pete poses the idea to Joan, and when she doesn’t brain him with her stapler he assumes she’s open to the idea.

Is she really willing?  It’s hard to tell at first, but once Pete indicates that ALL the partners are supportive of her prostituting herself – but only if SHE really wants to – she quietly goes forward with it, in exchange for a 5% partnership.

Joan’s performance is breathtaking.  Her poise rarely slips, but when it does you see her profound disappointment because Roger (her former lover), Lane (a supposed friend who urges her to take the partnership instead of cash, so that his financial shenanigans are not discovered) and most of all Don, have so little regard for her.

The writing and performances get even better when Don hears of the plan, and rushes to Joan’s house to stop her.  He tells her no account is worth the sacrifice she’s considering.  She lets him believe that she won’t go forward with the date, but in fact the date is already over and the deed is done.  Don only realizes this the following morning, when word arrives that Jaguar is on board, and Joan shows up for her first partners meeting.

The looks that pass between Joan and Don at the end of the episode remind me of why I watch Mad Men – how it hooked me and pulled me in from the start.  Isn’t it just like the writers, to come up with something this good with only a few episodes left in the season?  For me, tonight ranks right up there with season four’s “The Suitcase”. I think Mad Men fans will be talking about it for a long time.

What was your favorite scene in tonight’s Mad Men?  And why do you think Don couldn’t work with the “Jaguar is like a mistress” pitch at first? He’s certainly had plenty of experience with the topic!

I Am What IM

On By In Write FieldIn The Workplace6 Comments

Up to this point, I have avoided blogging about work because office satire can ruffle feathers.  And… I really like getting paid.   But I suppose there’s no harm in mocking something work-related that is in no way unique to my firm.  It is prolific in Corporate America.  It is instant messaging, and it is devouring our souls.

For anyone who has not encountered instant messaging on a corporate network, allow me to paint you a picture.  IM allows any colleague to draw a bead on you, at any time.  For example, a little radio button will appear next to your name in the “to” field of emails: pink if you are offline, yellow if you’re away from your desk or red if you’re in a meeting.  Creepy, right?  And in my workplace, as in many others I’m sure, instant messaging capabilities are the default.  There is no opting out.

If you are online, colleagues can send you instant messages that pop up at the bottom of your computer screen while you are working, regardless of the program you are working in.  This is generally considered a convenience, although I suspect only the person sending the IM would characterize it that way — not the recipient.

Because corporate IMing is still fairly new, it’s kind of the Wild West out there in terms of etiquette.  Many IM exchanges begin with a polite “hi”, a pardon-the-interruption acknowledgment that the recipient might be otherwise occupied.  Unfortunately, this is usually where courtesy ends.

I work for a bicoastal company so I spend an inordinate amount of time meeting by phone, and I am constantly IM’d when I’m in “red” status.  I consider this rude.  In other words, “I know you are already on the phone, so you won’t pick up if I call you.  And you may not see an email arrive in your inbox.  But I don’t feel like waiting because my needs are so important.  So I choose to interrupt you.”

What’s worse?  When fellow attendees on a conference call IM me while someone else is speaking.  “I joined late, did he talk about X yet?”  “Who is that speaking? I don’t recognize the voice.”  “Joe is such a name-dropping jerk!”  Pretty soon I completely lose track of the discussion at hand, and just have to cross my fingers that the meeting minutes will fill in the gaps.

This week I finally employed the last line of defense against abrupt IM intrusion:  the impenetrable “do not disturb” status.   That little button is now my best friend at work.

Don’t get me wrong.  Instant messaging can be valuable.  Some people even use it to power the office grapevine… but I wouldn’t know anything about that.

Any die-hard IM users out there?  Misery loves company, so send me your best corporate IM stories.

Not The Giants’ Sunday Best

On By In Write FieldIn Baseball, Sports Photography1 Comment
Tim Lincecum
Tim Lincecum

I caught Sunday’s San Francisco Giants game against the Oakland Athletics.  The weather cooperated, but the As did not.  They beat the Giants 6-2.

My seat was just to the right of the Giants dugout, deep in Larry Baer territory.  So while I’m pleased with the photos I took, I’d be a fool if I didn’t give proper props to location, location, location.

Sunday was my first time being in such close proximity to Tim Lincecum on the mound.  It was the perfect vantage point from which to watch him get creamed by Collin Cowgill.  Ouch.

It wasn’t Timmy’s finest hour… but I still had fun, and at those prices (ouch, again) THAT is what counts…

That, and scoring a Brian Wilson gnome!   I arrived one hour before AT&T Park’s gates opened, and waited patiently in line for one.  No small children were injured in the capture and taming of my gnome.

A San Francisco Giants promotional giveaway: Brian Wilson Gnome (2012)

Timmy Takes It On The Chin

On By In Write FieldIn Baseball, Sports Photography1 Comment

San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum has to cover home plate from time to time, and I always cringe when he does it.  These photos of his collision with Collin Cowgill in the fourth inning of today’s game against the Oakland A’s illustrate why.

Timmy’s ankle, especially in the second shot, stirred some intense flashbacks of last season’s Buster Posey collision at the plate.   And I could see his head snap back after Cowgill’s batting helmet struck his jaw.

Those few seconds when Timmy was face down in the dirt felt very long.  He’s a string bean.  But he’s our string bean.  And he’s tough.

It’s All Fun and Games, Until Someone Runs For President

On By In Write FieldIn Politics2 Comments

Young Mitt RomneyNo, news of Mitt Romney’s alleged prep school misdeeds did not slip past me.  I just held off blogging about them while they marinated in my brain.

Despite my strong dislike of Romney — with his creepy smile, shameless fear-mongering, and oily pandering to the Republican fringe — my first thought was, “Oh please, no high school dredging.”  I couldn’t imagine suffering through almost six months of the candidates debating which one inhaled/cheated on his trig midterm/lied when he said he once won Most Valuable Employee at the Dairy Queen for three consecutive months.

Besides, who among us didn’t do things in high school that we now regret? Like most teenagers, I was supremely self-involved, and often a pain in the backside to be around.  So I figured, how unusual could Romney’s behavior have been?  Then I read the details… and his response from the protective bosom of Fox News.

First, Romney trivialized bullying.  “I participated in a lot of hijinks and pranks during high school and some might have gone too far and for that, I apologize”

Hijinks?  Seriously?  Five former classmates at the posh Cranbrook School say Romney was incensed by the long blonde hair of John Lauber — a frequent target of bullying because of his non-conforming ways and assumed homosexuality.  Romney would eventually lead a “posse” to corner him, pin him to the ground, and cut his hair while he cried and pleaded for help.  If this was just madcap Romney horseplay, what precisely constitutes bullying?

Mitt Romney has emphasized that he doesn’t even remember the event, which is absurd.  I wasn’t a bully, but I can recall specific instances when I failed to defend someone who was marginalized and vulnerable, in the Lord-of-the-Flies world of high school.  In fact, they are so fresh in my mind they could have happened yesterday.  And let me tell you, they still make me cringe.  So either Romney’s cruel bullying was an anomaly — and he’s lying through his teeth about not remembering because he really wants to be the next President – or he has a hard time keeping his many acts of thuggishness straight.

What’s even more ridiculous?  Romney’s claims that even if the bullying he can’t recall DID happen, it definitely DID NOT happen because John Lauber was rumored to be gay.  “That was the furthest thing from my mind back in the 1960s.”

This was the 1960’s, Mr. Romney, not the 1560’s.  What are we supposed to believe, that you just thought the poor kid needed a trim?

I don’t think there’s anything Mitt Romney could do that could compel me to vote for him, but I would have respected him more if he’d admitted his mistakes, shown sincere remorse, and spoken out against bullying.  Instead he treated it like a joke.  But most of us aren’t laughing.

Stick a Fork In Her. She’s Done.

On By In Write FieldIn Random Stuff1 Comment

Patricia KrentcilYesterday was another you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up morning for me, courtesy of The Today Show.  A New Jersey mom is accused of causing sunburn to her five-year-old daughter by placing her in a tanning bed.  Not even a spray-tan booth, à la Snookie.  We’re talking about an old-school tanning bed complete with retina-shielding goggles to prevent, you know, blindness.  One of those contraptions that has been linked to premature aging and Melanoma.

Impossible, you say?  What kind woman would inflict such a thing on a young child?  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you… Patricia Krentcil. 

I’m traveling for work this week, so at first I thought there was something wrong with my hotel TV.  Was the color off?  Krentcil is blonde, but has leathery skin the color of an old baseball glove.  She could easily be mistaken for Al Jolson in blackface.

Maybe she is telling the truth, and her daughter merely accompanied her to the tanning salon, but waited outside while Mom cooked herself to a crisp.  (Krentcil claims a teacher heard the little girl talking about “going to get a tan with mommy” and misunderstood.)

Perhaps.  Someone may be addicted to tanning, but that doesn’t mean she would force her five-year-old kid to do it.  The funny thing was that everyone on Today kept a perfectly straight face throughout the segment, and no one even pointed out that Patricia Krentcil is (to quote the Associated Press ) “deeply tanned”.  Apparently seeking to dispel any hint of bias, the story was presented as sort of a he said/she said situation.  As if, due to the lack of circumstantial evidence, we might NEVER know what happened.   

Never fear, on Day Two of Pigmentgate, Today changed course and invited medical experts — who have never met Krentcil — to speak about the dangers of her ‘tanorexia’.

Speaking of blackface (sort of), Ashton Kutcher is in hot water for his appearance in a new Popchips commercial in which he impersonates a Bollywood producer, wearing brownface and using a strong Indian accent.  Twitter erupted with charges of racism, and the ad was swiftly pulled. 

I am completely baffled.  This causes outrage, but not Metro PCS commercials that mock Indians using every unflattering stereotype in the book?  Those cringe-worthy ads have been going on since 2010!  Kutcher’s Popchips performance is not exactly enlightened but Metro PCS commercials are insulting and completely unfunny, and they make me change the channel.

Ashton Kutcher

Buck Up, Buttercup!

On By In Write FieldIn Baseball, Random Stuff2 Comments

Cameron ShoresI have a complicated relationship with The Today Show.  Many things about it drive me nuts.  For starters, Ann Curry may be a very sweet person –  she can ask an evasive political candidate tough questions in such a non-confrontational way, he doesn’t know what hit him – but her hushed tones in human interest segments can be like nails on a chalkboard… especially when she sympathetically pats guests on the arm for emphasis.

Some Today segments are so devoid of social or educational value, I suspect that high school interns may have temporarily hijacked the studio. A recurring favorite:  Those crazy Duggars are pregnant again! Seriously?  I mean the show is called “19 Kids & Counting!”   When your teaser before a commercial is “The Duggars are here with a BIG announcement”, you don’t exactly need to issue a spoiler alert.

This morning, however, a warm-and-fuzzy Today story helped restore my faith in humanity.

At a recent Texas Rangers game, a foul ball was tossed into the stands and retrieved by a young couple, Shannon Moore and Sean Leonard.  Next to them sat three-year-old Cameron Shores and his parents.  Cameron already loves baseball so much, he sleeps with his glove every night, and he was NOT HAPPY for Shannon and Sean.  He wanted that baseball.  So Cameron threw a hissy fit.  Meanwhile the giddy couple beside him was oblivious, taking iPhone photos of themselves proudly holding up the ball.

Michael Kay, a Yankees announcer, aligned himself with Team Cameron right out of the gate.  “Oh my God. They can’t give it to the kid? That’s awful!  They’re rubbing it in the kid’s face.”  If you watch the video, though, you can clearly see that Shannon and Sean didn’t have a clue.

Now we reach the part of the story that impressed me so much:  Cameron is a lucky boy.  He has thoughtful, level-headed parents.  When he lost his marbles, his parents didn’t panic.  Instead, they immediately shifted him away from Shannon and Sean so that he didn’t spoil their fun, or guilt them into giving him their prize.

As they soothed their son, they explained that the game wasn’t over, and he might catch another ball later. “I never once thought that they should have given him the ball,” said Cameron’s mom Crystal. “We’re trying to teach him he doesn’t get everything every time.”

In fact, a few minutes after the TV cameras lost interest, Shannon and Sean realized why Cameron was crying and offered him the ball – and his parents politely turned them down.

I ask you, how cool are Cameron’s mom and dad?!?!  I wish more parents behaved this way.  Rather than assuming that the rest of us are put on this earth to revolve around their offspring, they actually thought FIRST about how his tantrum might affect OTHERS!  Unbelievable!

Later in the game, after Cameron had stopped crying, the Rangers organization sent out a ball for him.  Of course he was thrilled, but hopefully he also learned the lesson his parents were trying to teach; You may not get what you want, whenever you want it…. but patience is often rewarded.

On a slightly related note, my experience at the ballpark has been it’s not just the announcers who deride adult fans who hang on to foul balls – it’s the people sitting around them.  “Give it to a kid,” they shout.

Question:  Should grownups be expected to give up foul balls to youngsters sitting in their vicinity, even if they don’t know them?  (Being a fraidy cat, I think this will always be a hypothetical question for me.  I’m more likely to be vilified for ducking behind a little kid to escape being beaned by a pop up, than to catch one.)  That said, remember this young Giants fan?  If I caught that ball, Mr. Pouty wouldn’t have a prayer…

My Thoughts On Aubrey

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Aubrey HuffI’ve been dreading this all week.  Ever since Aubrey Huff’s implosion on the field (Saturday) and off the field (starting Sunday), most fans have known that trouble is on the way.

Huff has had two tough seasons since being one of the unlikely heroes of the 2010 World Series Champion San Francisco Giants.  His 2011 was abysmal, something GM Brian Sabean and Manager Bruce Bochy blamed on poor off-season conditioning and lack of commitment. In 2012, his batting average is just .182.

On Saturday, in the 9th inning against the New York Mets, 35-year-old Huff played second base — perhaps for the first time in his professional career.  On a crucial play in the tied game, he failed to cover the bag.  San Francisco fans know all about it, so there’s not much I can add here.  We lost.

On Sunday Huff was given a day off.  On Monday, he was a no show against the Mets.  We were told he informed Bruce Bochy via text message that he was dealing with a family emergency.  On Tuesday, he again did not join the team.  Uh oh.

Twitter was remarkably, uncharacteristically restrained.  The coincidence of his absence following a huge career blooper, and heavy public criticism, was evident to all.  But no one really wrote about it.  What if there really WAS a family catastrophe, and we wrongly accused Aubrey Huff of simply taking a dive to save face?

Most Giants fans know Aubrey Huff’s personal story.  He was raised by a single Mom after his father’s tragic death when Aubrey was just seven years old.  Oh God, was his Mom ill?  Or one of his young sons?

Now, I guess, we have our answer.  Aubrey Huff is reportedly suffering from Anxiety Disorder, and has been put on the 15-day disabled list.  Are career pressures at the root of this anxiety, or the retirement of fellow Giant and BFF Pat Burrell… or something else?  Is it even something the public should be debating?

Shortly after the announcement of Huff’s placement on the DL, information surfaced that his wife Baubi filed for divorce earlier this year, leading to much debate; Did columnists who reported this news cross a line, given that divorce filings are public information in Florida?  If a professional athlete implodes, is the media not entitled to report on what may have caused it?

You know what?  For once, I am not sure.  I don’t feel ENTITLED to know about Aubrey Huff’s personal life, but at the same time… it’s not like I dug through his trashcan to get the information.   Truth is, as a fan I’m a pragmatist who wonders… So does this mean Belt will play first on Thursday?

At the same time, I feel sincere sadness for the Huff family.   Aubrey purportedly suffers from a devastating disorder that afflicts approximately 18% of Americans.  He and his wife are splitting up, something far too many families endure in this day and age.  Plus he’s had a couple of really embarrassing professional face plants recently.

While most of us can identify with some – if not all – of these hardships, we get to suffer through them in relative obscurity.  We crawl off into a corner and lick our wounds for a while but – with luck, and thanks to the support and encouragement of our friends, colleagues and family — we emerge feeling a little stronger.

My hope is that the media, the team, and my fellow San Francisco Giants fans continue to treat Aubrey Huff’s situation with the sensitivity and empathy it deserves.  So far, I’m proud of all of us.