Author: In Write Field

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On By In Write FieldIn Random Stuff, Sports1 Comment

At this point, nearly everyone knows that the San Francisco 49ers will not be going to the Super Bowl this year.  They have also heard about the two fumbles by wide receiver Kyle Williams that helped cost us the game, and the threatening messages he received via Twitter afterward.

I was reluctant to write about the 49ers’ loss, and the extreme reactions to it by some.  What more is there to say, that hasn’t already been written, blogged or tweeted?  But yesterday’s events raised several questions that lingered in the back of my mind all day.

Why does Twitter bring out such hatefulness, particularly on the topic of sports?   Some chalk it up to the anonymity that is available with social media.  They say people lose the will to censor themselves, if their words can’t be traced back to them.  This may be true in some cases, but most of the comments I saw yesterday came complete with full names and photos attached.  If these guys thought they were incognito, they are even dumber than their tweets suggest.  (Why is it that the nastiest tweeters are also incapable of spelling the word “you’re” correctly?)

Perhaps it’s less a matter of anonymity, than of proximity (or lack of it).   I doubt that yesterday’s tough-talking-tweeters would have been so bold, if a 49er had been within swinging distance.

Are these folks just uber-competitive athletes who love and understand the game better than the rest of us?  Doubtful.  I envision washed up high school sports heroes long since gone soft, and guys who passed out towels after practice… but like to pretend they did a whole lot more.  Regardless, they know nothing of sportsmanship, teamwork or compassion.

Where does that kind of venom come from? Alcohol?  Probably a factor, but that’s the Mel Gibson defense which always seemed a little shaky to me.  Alcohol may give you liquid courage to blurt out something you shouldn’t, but it doesn’t plant the idea in your head and heart in the first place.

I sense the pack mentality at work.  At its best, Twitter is a conversation, and just like in face-to-face interactions participants want to be liked – even admired.   We want to make other people laugh.  We are flattered and validated by follows and retweets.  So it’s easy to dog pile on a struggling pitcher after his fifth walk in two innings, each tweet a little more biting than the last, to keep the conversation going.  If he can’t take the heat, he should stay off Twitter, right?

On the whole, I think social media is a blast.  But just like in “real life” I choose who I interact with carefully.  I surround myself with people who lift me up, make me laugh and challenge my thinking.  In turn, I try to stick close to my values and apply common sense rules to my part of the conversation.  If the person I’m writing about read this, would I feel guilty?  Could I look him/her in the eye and say it?  Would I be OK if a stranger wrote something like this… about me?  If the answer to any of these is “no”, I do the digital equivalent of biting my tongue, and hit delete.

Women With Nibbles… Proceed With Caution!

On By In Write FieldIn Random Stuff2 Comments

This evening I attended a professional women’s networking event that occurs monthly in downtown San Francisco.  It was held at a popular clothing store, and attendees (all of whom paid up to $35 to attend) were treated to champagne, cheese and crackers and, if they stayed around long enough, a coupon for the store.  (Spoiler alert:  I did not stay around long enough.)

Free food + free champagne + coupons = a very hot, over-crowded room full of glassy-eyed women about to launch into a retail frenzy.   Many could care less about tonight’s speakers.  All of this reminded me of the two reasons I usually avoid hot, over-crowded rooms full of women.

Reason one:  If you’ve gone to a cinema recently, you know that humans must be told up to five times before an event that involves quiet to silence their cell phones.  These admonitions are not directed at everyone, however — don’t be fooled.  They are directed at women.  Professional women who can manage teams, oversee P&Ls, and bring home the bacon then fry it up in a Le Crueset pan are apparently genetically incapable of remembering to turn their cell phones to mute.  During tonight’s 45 minute panel discussion, the cell phones of three women standing either in front of or next to me rang. Each time the owner seemed sheepish, and shocked — SHOCKED — that she had forgotten to turn off her cell phone.  Ooops.

My crazy theory?  At least some of the women knew perfectly well their phones were set to “loud”.  They are just so addicted to multi-tasking, so afraid of missing something, so unaccustomed to just being in the moment… they consciously did not mute their phones, despite the fact that it could mean a disturbance for others.  Clearly, this makes me crazy.  I, of course, turned my cell phone off as soon as I arrived. This leads me to my second reason for avoiding hot, over-crowded rooms full of women.

Reason two:  Women going after free food and drink, and/or who are in a retail frenzy, are sloppy clods.

I walked into the room tonight, and knew I would be miserable.  With the exception of the 2010 World Series Parade, I have never enjoyed teeming humanity.  I love cities, but I hate crowds.  I located a free spot to plant myself (standing, of course) and placed my briefcase on the floor by my feet. Then, responsible community member that I am, I leaned down to locate and mute my cell phone.  That’s when the woman to my right spilled her champagne AND her plate of cheese and crackers all over my back.  That is, all over my new camel coat — a post-Christmas sale splurge at Bloomingdales.  I almost did not wear the coat today (for the first time, no less) because I was afraid someone would spill wine on it.  But, that’s silly right?  Why buy nice things, then hide them away in the closet?  It was a networking event, not a frat party!

When did holding a plate AND a glass at the same time become a lost art for so many?  Seriously, if you can’t do both can you please choose just one? The woman apologized, even offered to pay for the cleaning, then turned to her friend.  “This is just a disaster.  This has been a disaster!” Really?  A disaster for whom?  Her loss was her free champagne and cheddar cheese. I bet she still got a coupon!  I was the one who smelled like Charlie Sheen after a night out on the town!  People on the bus home stared at me.   “Poor woman.  Well dressed.  Nice coat!  Too bad she’s an alcoholic.”

Luckily it was champagne, not red wine.  So no real harm done, except to my faith in the judgement and dexterity of some women.  I will exceed my dry cleaning budget in January, but that’s OK.  With the money I DON’T use for women’s networking events in February I should break even!