The UK has a new Duchess
And the press hasn’t pulled any punches
It’s “Buyer Beware”
Knives are out over there
And knickers are twisted in bunches.

When Harry put a ring on the actress
The world nearly fell off its axis
He’s hitched to a Yank
A plus one, without rank
Putting cracks in the walls between classes.

Royal watchers admired her uniqueness…
at first, then her strength was her weakness
“She’s hungry for power!”
“At home, SHE wears the trousers!”
“Just look at that dress, is it SLEEVELESS?”

Her skin “dark”, and her nails even darker
Bare legs without stockings and garters
In print, and on telly
Always stroking her belly
While her father and sister play martyrs.

Meghan shouldn’t be on a pedestal
But let’s take the snark down just a decibel
Must folks always berate
And compare her with Kate?
Isn’t generosity slightly preferable?

So the next time your hide’s being chapped
By her freckles, or dress with one strap
Try Meghan’s trick: yoga
Or mine: scotch and soda
Whatever it takes. Just RELAX.