Hesitate To Ask

Rumor has it that out on the campaign trail today, Presidential candidate Mitt Romney refused to grant an interview to anyone who wanted to ask about his stand on abortion, or his opinion on Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) of “legitimate rape” fame.

I think this is awesome.  Finally, a Republican ideal I can get behind.  I immediately started compiling my own “do not ask” list.  It will be posted prominently at my office, and attached to any cover letter or resume I might think of submitting.  I will also laminate copies, and hand them out to various doctors and law enforcement officers, my landlord and my personal trainer.

OK, let’s DO THIS!:

If you are a medical doctor, or other judgmental individual, you may not inquire about how many alcoholic beverages I consume per week.  Along these same lines, optometrists may not ask if I can read the 3rd line from the bottom without my reading glasses.

Corporate recruiters wishing to discuss my professional qualifications may not inquire about felony convictions, or my college G.P.A.

Do you work at the DMV? Are you skeptical about why my weight has not changed since college?  Weeeeell, do not go there.

If you are my landlord, don’t bother asking.  The answer will always be “No way, that wasn’t me.  But that is AWFUL.”  For example, “No, I did not put Canadian quarters in washing machine in our basement.  But wow, that is AWFUL. Who DOES that? Philistines!”

Other do-not-asks:

Did you just drop that ‘People’ magazine?

Do you need me to bring you a bigger size?

Do you know how fast you were driving, Miss?

Did you read that 30-page, single-spaced document about Reg-Q I sent you?

Did I see you at AT&T Park last night, doing the wave?

Here’s what you may ask:

Hey, there’s a $20 bill on the sidewalk.  Is that yours?

 

What’s on your “do not ask” list?

 

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